Life doesn’t seem fair. Just listen to the news for a short time to confirm the truth of this statement. Every day we see the evidence. Evil tramples good and recklessness harms the innocent. When the young become casualties, it’s particularly painful. My heart mourns with these victims of injustice and acts of violence. But even more, I connect with those left behind who remain to cope with the tragedy. While most ask why the good die young, survivors ask, why am I still alive?
Over last weekend, a young mother and her twin daughters sat in traffic stopped for construction on the highway circling Indianapolis. A semi truck driver didn’t see that the cars weren’t moving. He plowed into her car at 65 mph, killing everyone in her vehicle and injuring 5 other people in the line of cars. Who can make sense of this? Though many witnessed this tragedy, most walked away unscathed. These survivors are the ones who will have great difficulty erasing the memory and may suffer what we call survivor’s syndrome.
Survivor’s syndrome is a condition of feeling guilty after surviving a situation in which others died or were harmed. This was first described in those who survived the Holocaust. Even though they had no control over their situation, they still felt responsible. It is a form of PTSD and exhibits symptoms such as flash backs, irritability, headaches and sleep disturbance.
Following a traumatic situation, there are steps that may help a sufferer overcome survivor’s syndrome. First, allow time to grieve, acknowledging that it may be a lengthy process. Next, realistically assess who or what truly was at fault. Always remember to practice self-care through rest and a healthy diet. Then, at some point, consider using your experience to help others. Even though it’s painful, finding purpose through trauma can be therapeutic. However, if symptoms persist or worsen, don’t fail to seek professional counseling. There is no shame is asking for help. Often therapy is the key to long term healing.
In my own life, I experienced survivor’s syndrome as a teenager when my youngest sister died in a car accident. At the time, I didn’t realize I had a form of PTSD. I only knew how overwhelmed I felt. My own healing happened through many sources. As a family, we worked through our shared grief by love and open conversation. Our pastor was an exceptional listener and gave all of us the support we needed. With his help, I found solace in the belief that I will see my sister again someday and the motivation to live on for her. Even though this was a painful process, through it I recognized my calling to go into the medical field.
Yes, there are times life doesn’t seem fair. Bad things happen. I admit that I don’t understand it. Yet, what I do know is this. The Lord walks with me through the hardship. If I allow it, He takes the trauma meant to harm me and turns it into something good. This is my sustaining Hope.
