I’m a bit of a gardening nut. When the days get longer and temps start to rise, I’m excited to put my hands in the soil again. I watch anxiously for the seed I placed in the ground to emerge as tiny plants. But, if nothing comes up, I’m in a dilemma. Should I be planting new seeds when the old don’t sprout or wait a little longer?
This is the situation I find myself in with my kale. Our spring here in the mountains of East Tennessee has been slow this year. Even so, the lettuce, spinach, and beets I planted at the same time as the kale are all up. But there is no hint of baby kale pushing through the soil. Is it time to give up and invest in more seed to replant?
This question applies not simply to my garden but also to my life. How much time, energy, and money should I invest in a project when I see no growth? When do I give up and decide to work on something new?
Most of my adult life has revolved around the practice of medicine. I graduated from medical school in 1984 and finished my residency in Family Medicine in 1987. My passion and joy for patient care has never waned over the past 40 plus years. Yet, I felt called by God to a second career. So, in 2010 I started writing in earnest.
At first, I penned solely for myself but soon this blossomed into a short memoir and a blog. Through the advice of another writer, I attended writing conferences to better learn the craft and joined a critique group. I continue to blog and over this period, I’ve completed three novels. However, despite my efforts to pitch them, none of this work has been published. It pains me to admit it but the seed God planted in me has failed to grow.
Do I need to shift my plans or change my expectations? Perhaps, I must do both.
Even though I don’t see the fruit of my efforts, God is working in the process. My husband, Tim, often reminds me that within the Christian writing industry there exists a vibrant community of like-minded people. And he is correct. I’ve lost count of all the new friends and encouragers I’ve gained since starting on this endeavor. What an amazing time we have when we gather together in solidarity at a conference. This is the Body of Christ in action. It’s such a blessing.
And the Lord is quick to remind me also that I’m writing for His glory, not my own. My words, even if only read by a few, can be a means of planting new seeds of hope in a desperate world. I look to Mother Theresa for inspiration. Two of her quotes resonate with me.
Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.
God does not require that we be successful only that we be faithful.
—the words of Mother Theresa of Calcutta
Even though my efforts are far from perfect, God remains faithful. The Lord continues planting new seeds in the fallow ground of my soul—growing me in ways I never imagined. My job is to follow the Master Gardener and allow Him to guide my work in all facets of my life.
It’s human nature to feel disappointment when our plans and expectations don’t succeed in the way we visualized. Perhaps some time in the future my dream of a published novel will become a reality. But if not, there’s still benefit in the process—for me and the few who are meant to read my words.
I may never see the fruit of my labor, but God does. And that’s enough.
