In this life, it’s easy for me to lose sight of my real purpose. This is especially true when I’m recovering from an injury that’s taking much longer to heal than I ever anticipated. My mood tends to go to dark places and I begin to question whether the goals I’ve set for myself are even worth it (or possible). Thankfully, it’s in these moments, the Holy Spirit speaks to me. Not in an audible voice, mind you. But sometimes I need a tap on my shoulder and a gentle nudge. Never forget—it’s not about you.
Earlier this week, the question of my purpose came to mind as I wrestled with an important decision. Should I cancel my registration for a major writing conference coming up soon or continue with my original plan? You see, I had signed up for this convention in New Orleans prior to my ankle fracture. When I had my surgery, I assumed I’d be up and walking again by September. Boy was I wrong.
As the realization sunk in that I would have to navigate the conference with my knee scooter, all the negative thoughts rushed in. How am I going to make it between meeting rooms on time? Will I have enough energy to complete the activities I’ve signed up for? What will I do if the pain is unbearable? Wow. With all these obstacles, I will never make a good impression on agents and publishers. Why even go?
You see where this line of thinking was going. It was all about me.
But God didn’t leave me there.
On Tuesday, a friend graciously picked me up so I could attend our Spiritual Support group at church. I shared with the others how I questioned the wisdom of traveling to New Orleans for the conference and that I must decide soon since it was only a few short weeks away. Expressing my concerns out loud hadn’t brought me any further resolution yet as I left the church a flash of insight suddenly hit me. It was a kind of epiphany that came out of nowhere.
Have you ever thought I might be sending you to the conference for someone else? Change your expectations. It’s not about you.
Okay, God, You have my attention. Decision made. I’m going to New Orleans.
But now, I’m determined not to worry about all the logistics or the outcomes. If I’m tired or in pain, I’ll go to my room and rest. I’ll pace myself and my husband will be there to help me navigate any obstacles. Problem solved. God’s got this and the best part of the whole trip will be finding that person (or persons) He’s sending me to help.
A change in perspective converts worry to joy and discouragement into purpose even during difficult situations.
So, when an injury or disability isolates you from others, it’s understandable how one’s focus can turn inward. Pain and the constant struggle just to move from point A to point B can do that to a person. I’m writing honestly to let you know I’m certainly not immune to this self-focused mindset. Over the past ten weeks, it’s been exceptionally difficult to pull myself out of this toxic trap. But with the help of my ever-patient husband, faithful friends, and Facetime with my family, I’m better able to look outward again.
And with God, everything is possible. My real purpose is found in Him.
Never forget, it’s not about you.
So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.
The words of the Apostle Paul from 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message Bible
Your message really spoke to me today, Suzanne–“it’s not about me.” I struggle with that, too, and I don’t have a broken ankle! I know you will be a blessing for whomever God has in mind for you to meet and minister to in New Orleans. Praying for you, my friend.