Some patients reach out and squeeze our hearts more than others. They touch us in a way that defies explanation. Somehow their existence moves us beyond our contrasts to embrace our shared humanity. They show us how we’re uniquely different, yet still the same.
Kevin* was one of those patients. Perhaps I grew fond of him because I knew him before all the trouble began. He was a tall, lanky eight year old when his family first started coming to my practice. Even then, he was a little sullen though a likeable young man.
But everything went downhill in high school after he started using illicit drugs. One night a ‘friend’ stabbed him multiple times and left him for dead. Kevin survived with wounds on his body as well as his soul. Cynical and bent on revenge, he fell deeper into drug use and dropped out of school.
Over the years, he would reappear at my office sometimes asking me for a prescription of Xanax even though he knew I wouldn’t write it for him. I offered him help but he either wasn’t ready or didn’t think he needed it. His family kept me informed of his whereabouts though his poor choices didn’t change.
Even so, Kevin never ceased surprising me. I remember the time, he brought his intellectually disabled uncle in for an appointment. His kindness and care for Bill* seemed out of place with all the anger he expressed to others. Here was the boy I first saw so long ago peeking through his hardened shell.
Not long after this encounter, Kevin’s mom called with devastating news. They found him in his apartment…overdosed. The paramedics tried to revive him but there was nothing they could do. Kevin was gone.
If not for my work as a Family Physician, I might never have met Kevin. Over the years, medicine has given me the opportunity to interact on a personal level with individuals very different than myself. Different culture, race, religion, lifestyle…you name it. In reality, every one of us is different and unique, yet the same. We all share a common humanity.
Society tries to put labels on us. But these labels set up barriers that cause us to forget that we’re all human. When we look closely, we recognize the same motivation deep within us: to love and be loved. Some like Kevin, have a more difficult time finding and expressing that need due to life experiences out of their control.
Now more than ever, we need to move beyond our differences to embrace our shared humanity. We must tear down the labels and barriers that threaten to keep us apart. Let us see each other with open minds and open hearts.
Yes, we are uniquely different, yet still the same.
Kevin’s life was much too brief, although immensely important. It impacted me and many others. My only regret is not being able to help him more.
*not their real names
