A Time to Remember

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Memorial Day is a time to remember. Today we focus our thoughts on those who gave their lives to give us our freedom. Indeed these are dear memories of selflessness and sacrifice. Many fought and never returned home. However, those that did make it back to their loved ones often carry with them memories too difficult to bear. The sights and sounds of war brought a loss of innocence and an unfathomable severity of suffering with very few mechanisms to cope.

Only recently, we term this condition as post-traumatic stress disorder. In times past, we called it “shell shock”. However, no matter what we choose to name it, the disorder remains misunderstood by many. Often the nightmares and flashbacks remain hidden within the mind of the soldier until he or she can deal with it no longer. By VA statistics, twenty veterans commit suicide every day. Many more deal with the stigma of depression and anxiety. If they remain enlisted in the military, often they avoid admitting that there is a problem for fear of being labeled as weak. Thus, instead of proactively treating soldiers, the system itself promotes a culture of denial, creating a downward spiral of increasing suicides. Something has to change.

Memorial Day must be a time to remember not just the fallen soldier but the one living in our family, at our church and in our workplace. Be aware that they struggle with memories that we can’t even imagine. Over the years, I treated numerous veterans. Only a few opened up to confide in me their wartime experiences. Even then, I felt that they gave me only a glimpse of the horror. Did they feel that I wouldn’t believe them or were they somehow trying to protect me from their pain? Nonetheless, in asking, in reaching out, the doors open to help and healing.

Unfortunately, the VA only now recognizes the magnitude of this crisis. Measures have been taken to enlist more private psychiatrists and social workers to treat those suffering in silence. However, between the rising suicide rate among vets and the addiction crisis, we find our psychiatric services overwhelmed in the US. More primary care physicians need to step up to care for these individuals. It must become a part of our training. We see vets and their families every day in our practices for other problems. Through asking the right questions and assessing the individual needs, we start the process of healing. Perhaps then, our soldiers won’t suffer in silence any longer.

So today as we pause for a time to remember, be thankful but also be prayerful. Pray for the soldiers you know. Reach out in friendship to them and their families. If you are a veteran yourself, be open to others who share similar experiences. Only veterans truly understand what others like themselves suffer. When we begin recognizing the problem of veteran PTSD, then solutions will be found. We have lost too many soldiers on the battlefield to allow any more be lost on our home front.

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Suzanne Montgomery

Family Physician, Mom, Author, Lover of gardening, hiking and Jesus (not necessarily in that order)

3 thoughts on “A Time to Remember

  1. Thank you for this post having dealt with mental illness of a different kind and cause I know a little about stigmas love Tim ps thank u vets past and present!!!!!!!

  2. My husband lived through many horrors in Viet Nam and when he came home in 1970, there was no support or counseling available. PTSD was several years away. It is so sad to me that even to this day, he can’t truly admit that the war changed our lives forever. Thank you for your concern for our veterans…we all share the pain! Nancy Kerr

    1. Nancy,
      With 2 of my son’s in the military, the well-being of our soldiers is often on my mind.We owe them too much to not look out for their mental health too. It breaks my heart every time I hear of another life lost to suicide.

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