Christmas time is packed full of expectations. Every parent tasked with decorating their home and buying gifts for their children understands exactly what I mean. Even those hosting the holiday meal make sure to serve it with all the expected traditional dishes. No one wants to disappoint their loved ones. We strive instead for that imagined perfect Christmas even if it almost kills us trying to achieve it. So, how do we handle our own disappointment when our expectations flip upside down?
For many, this question triggers sad memories of past holidays derailed by situations no one saw coming. A sudden turn of events left them reeling and the celebrations were never the same. You can fill in the blank with your own personal specifics, but ______ cast a gray haze over what you had hoped to be a joyous festivity.
I’ve been there too. My sister’s cancer took a turn for the worse during the Christmas holidays in 2019. We prayed as a family for her healing during our celebration. But one setback after another followed by the Covid pandemic blindsided us. I was left with a sense of disappointment but also despondency. I called out in my confusion: God, why is this happening? We never expected our lives to end up like this.
The story of the first Christmas was also full of great expectations tempered with deep disappointment. Over the centuries, we’ve tended to gloss over the overwhelming difficulty of Mary and Joseph’s situation. We’ve created beautiful manger scenes in our nativities and Christmas pageants whereas the real circumstances of Jesus’ birth were both frightening and messy.
Think about it for a moment. An angel visits a teenage girl with a life changing message. God has chosen her as the mother of the long-awaited messiah. But this means she becomes pregnant before marriage. This understandably upsets her fiancé and he considers breaking off their engagement. However, an angel convinces him in a dream to take her as his wife. If this isn’t a strange enough situation, a census forces the couple to travel to a different community right before the baby is due. The only available shelter is a barn.
Frightening and messy is an understatement. All our expectations flip upside down in the Christmas story. Please don’t sterilize the horrific predicament Mary and Joseph experienced. Most certainly, their family and friends ostracized them. We have no account of anyone from Nazareth accompanying the couple to Bethlehem. Did Mary even have a mid-wife to assist in her labor and delivery? Did she or Joseph ever wonder, “God, why is this happening,” or say, “we never expected our lives to end up like this?”
If Mary and Joseph expected a nice, quiet life raising their children in obscurity, those assumptions all ended in Bethlehem the night of Jesus’ birth. I’m sure they didn’t feel qualified for their role as His earthly parents. Yet, through their obedience, Mary and Joseph became an integral part of God’s ultimate salvation plan. Life transforming changes were on the way. Nothing would ever be the same for them or for the world.
Throughout Biblical history, God has called the unqualified for tasks not possible through human strength alone. Abraham, Moses, and Esther are a few of those heroes of the faith who like Mary and Joseph changed their world through their obedience despite their unexpected circumstances. And in our lifetime, God continues to call those willing to join His redemption work to be a part of His story.
Even though He could, God may not contact us through an angel’s message or a prophetic dream like Mary and Joseph. But don’t discount the quiet nudges in our heart or the turn of events which pushes us in a new direction. When our expectations flip upside down, perhaps God is calling us through these challenging circumstances for a divine assignment, and our struggles are equipping us for the work ahead.
The Apostle Paul tells us in his letter to the Romans, “in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8: 28). It may not feel like all things are good for you right now, but if you choose to answer His call like Mary and take action like Joseph, life transforming changes for the better are sure to come. What that looks like is hard to say. But certainly, nothing will ever be the same for you or for your world.
Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.
Luke 1:38 The words of Mary to the Angel Gabriel. Message Bible
Then Joseph woke up. He did exactly what God’s angel commanded in the dream: He married Mary. But he did not consummate the marriage until she had the baby. He named the baby Jesus.
Matthew 1:24-25 Message Bible
