As a child, I was naturally curious. I desired to understand my world and wasn’t shy about asking questions. Once I figured things out, I insisted on doing everything myself, even to the point of holding my own hand. My blatant sense of independence drove my mother crazy. This need of mine to control my circumstances, left me constantly wrestling with why life doesn’t always turn out as planned. It still does.
But now as an adult, my questions delve much deeper with very few answers. We live in a world full of paradox. I often wonder why joy co-mingles with sorrow, why beauty intermixes with ashes. Even though we try to avoid it, suffering is common to all of humanity. War, natural disasters and disease appear to indiscriminately wreak havoc around the globe. While some fervent prayers are answered, others are not. I don’t understand why. If I’m still seeking control, I’ll not find it here.
As I’m writing this, we’re in the midst of Holy Week. Revisiting the suspenseful story from Palm Sunday to Easter, makes me wonder. Did Mary feel this same angst as she watched her son on the way to the cross? Circumstance set events in motion she couldn’t control. Even though she knew Jesus’ true identity as Messiah and King, she didn’t fully understand his mission. Horror played out before her eyes which Jesus could have stopped. But he didn’t.
While most of his followers abandoned Jesus, Mary seemed drawn to the foot of the cross. With the apostle John and Mary Magdelene, she witnessed the nails, the crown of thorns, and all the agony Jesus suffered. She waited through the darkness and the earthquake. Mary watched as her son took his last breath.
“It is finished.”
At some point, did Mary remember the words of Simeon when Jesus was still yet an infant? How often in the dead of night did she pray that God might prove this prophecy wrong?
Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own heart too.’
Luke 2:34-35
When Jesus died, I imagine Mary’s heart broke while she grieved, wrestling with why. On that dark Friday, she didn’t know Sunday was coming. The Gospels don’t recount Jesus’ reunion with his mother after his resurrection, but I’m sure it was sweet. He answered all her why’s in a moment.
Jesus’ death and resurrection liberated his mother from darkness and offered her life forever with her son. He offers this same promise of freedom for you and for me.
In this world full of paradox, we will have many questions that won’t be answered in our lifetime. But someday, our Liberator will return. We’ll see Jesus face-to-face. Then he’ll reveal the whole purpose of events in our lives and answer all our why’s.
Until that time, we remain in this battlefield we call earth, fighting forces we don’t understand. May God give us strength to persevere within the inevitable suffering and hold on to his promise that this too will pass. Someday I won’t be wrestling with why any longer. Jesus will provide all the answers.
