When an animal or baby first sees their image in a mirror, they believe it’s real. It’s amusing to watch as they ponder their reflection. They touch the hard surface and often look behind it trying to find their new playmate. It’s such a disappointment when they eventually figure it out. In my imagination, I hear them saying, ‘Mirror, mirror, who do I see? After all my investigation, it’s only me!’
When you look in a mirror, who do you see? A smiling, jovial person or someone who’s tired and forlorn? King Solomon wrote in his proverbs, “Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart.” (Proverbs 27:19) Isn’t it amazing how our body language often tells others our disposition, long before our words confirm it?
I see this illustrated most often in the patients I treat for depression. Before a word passes between us, I can tell if their mood’s improved or not by watching them walk down the hall. If their shoulders slump and eyes remain downcast, we still have much work to do. But if their gait is brisk with their head lifted high, I’m hopeful that their mood is lifted as well. Sometimes their words don’t match their body language. When this happens, the patient’s countenance is more reliable than what they tell me. Their face mirrors their heart every time.
Most of us are guilty of trying to fool others by concealing our true feelings. We put on a happy face when we’re secretly dying inside. In reality, the only person we’re fooling is ourselves. An astute observer will easily figure out we’re faking fine. But they may not say anything because our words insist that nothing’s wrong. Our disguises push others away and isolate us when we’re crying out for help. It’s time to stop faking fine.
The pandemic has brought out many cases of hidden depression. More people are seeking treatment and with the advent of telehealth, counseling is available in the privacy of your own home. Even so, a large number of others self medicate with alcohol and illicit drugs. This puts them in a downward spiral that’s difficult to ever stop. Getting to a trained professional is essential. But a person must first admit they have a problem before any help is possible.
If you’re feeling down, depressed or anxious, please stop pretending you’re all right and seek treatment now. It’s not a lack of faith or resilience that keeps you down. Depression and anxiety are medical illnesses often caused by biochemical imbalances that are treatable. There are many providers like myself ready to help you heal and reach full recovery.
Someday soon, I hope all those who struggle with mental illness can truly say: ‘Mirror, mirror, who do I see? After treatment, my reflection reveals a healed, whole me. There’s no need to fake fine anymore.’
Resources for urgent help: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
