Setting goals is a must to achieve success in almost every endeavor. Without some sort of goal, our lives flounder aimlessly. But even the best aspiration can become a stumbling block to real joy if we let it. When we focus intently in one direction, we risk developing tunnel vision, ignoring everything else. With this narrow view, we overlook the real but invisible treasures hidden in our own hands.
I lived this life for many years while pursuing my medical degree. After eleven years of grueling schedules and sleepless nights, I achieved my goal. If not for a singular focus and the help from numerous family members, I doubt I could have made it. The role of women in medicine was quite different in the early 80’s than it is today. Work/life balance was an unknown term back then. Our lives revolved around our patients and the hospital. We were dedicated young doctors but what hidden treasures did we overlook in the process?
Dr. Rachel Remen tells a simple story that illustrates this dilemma in her book, Kitchen Table Wisdom. When she bought her home located in a mountain meadow in California, she dreamed of planting a rose garden like ones she’d seen in Sunset magazine. She focused on preparing the garden site and friends gave her fifteen of the fragrant plants as housewarming gifts.
During early spring, the roses bloomed and the garden was glorious. But then she noticed some missing rose blossoms. Day after day more of them disappeared. She was determined to find the culprit that was destroying her garden. One early morning she glanced out her window and watched in amazement as a magnificent stag casually munched the rose blossoms.
Every year since then I have had to make a difficult choice. Am I going to put up higher fences and have roses, or am I going to have a stag ten feet from my back door? Every year so far, I have chosen the stag.
Rachel Naomi Remen M.D.-physician, author
At times, we can so fervently seek what we think we want and totally miss something breathtaking along the way. God scatters numerous invisible treasures hidden on my path if I have eyes to recognize them. I’ve grown more observant over the years since my medical school days. Long ago, I chose to work less time in the hospital which gave me more quality time with my family. Softball games and choir concerts spent with my children have transitioned into reading board books and singing silly songs to my grandchildren. I grasp these now visible treasures firmly in my hands and relish every moment.
Granted, as I pursued my medical degree, I missed many of these blessings due to my drive for success and busy schedule. I can’t change the past but I can modify the future. I still set goals for myself but I don’t allow them to consume me so I lose sight of what brings real joy to my life. Over my career, I have advised my patients to consider the consequences of their work decisions on the real treasures in their lives.
Embracing all of life means making tough choices. Sometimes we must modify a worthy aspiration, to experience blessings of more infinite value. It’s akin to sacrificing a few rose blossoms to experience the wonder of a stag in your own backyard. God gifts us with invisible treasures hidden in our own hands if only we have eyes to see and a willingness to accept them with joy.
Never be so focused on what you’re looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.
Ann Patchett-author
Excerpts from ‘I Never Promised You a Rose Garden’ (pages 175-176), Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal by Rachel Remen M.D., Riverhead Books, 1996.
